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Hi! I know I’ve been away a long time but nothing hit me to blog about. That just changed. It’s 11:00 on Tuesday morning. My doorbell just rang, and rang, and rang. As usual, I stood stalk still thinking if I don’t move, they won’t know I’m in here. Of course I was in the office which is right by the front door and it has those double doors with the glass panes (French doors, I think) and if they are opened just right you can see my reflection from the front door. Then the jig is up, they know I’m home. But you know what – I STILL don’t answer my door. I refuse to answer my door unless I know you are coming over and/or I know who you are. I do answer and ALMOST always buy from kids selling girl scout cookies or that cheap fundraiser stuff. I can rarely turn a little kid down. Other than that, I’ve been burned too many times by door to door “magazine” salesmen or the guys that want you to buy their new miracle product, OR the “can you help me out I’m going to go out into the world and learn how to be a grown up” guys. It used to be hard for me to say no but I’ve gotten to the point that I can and do say no. It’s almost always unpleasant and they get angry and sometimes even scare me a little so now, I just refuse to open my door. There was the guy that came to my door pretending to be handicapped with some sort of disability like cerebral palsy which causes issues with walking and talking. This guy was suspect right away because he was dressed in very flashy and expensive clothes, too “polished”. He confirmed my suspicions because after I told him no SEVERAL times, he said, perfectly clear “OK, well, do you have any neighbors that are nice?” At that point I didn’t know whether to scold him for being a con-man or to compliment him on his acting skills – even though he should have stayed in character through the whole performance. Then there was the time that Ed was outside working in the yard (hard to hide when you are outside) and some guy walks up to him with his little holster full of spray bottles which were full of miracle solvent and asked “sir, do you want me to get that oil stain off your driveway?” Ed said “no”. The guy was incredulous “You DON’T want the oil stain off your drive?” Ed – “no”. The guy finally left. I know these guys need to make a living but in this day and age, door to door is not a good idea and 9 times out of 10 these guys are running some kind of con or they want to bust in and hurt/steal/maim. Paranoid? Maybe but I’ve read too many scary stories. If they’ve come to tell me I’ve won the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes (RIP Ed McMahon), then I guess I’ll just lose out or they can contact me by mail.

My favorite is the time the doorbell rang and rang and rang and I just wasn’t going to answer. I wasn’t in the mood to argue with some grown man trying to go to Florida with his baseball team. Then I hear Morgan yell “Mom, it’s the pizza guy!” “Oh Crap!”. I guess I ought to go to the door for pizza. In my defense, I ordered the pizza 45 minutes earlier and I just forgot. At some point I should really blog about my memory issues.

I don’t mean to be rude, unkind, harsh, or any of those things. I just don’t think it’s safe or wise to answer the door in the middle of the day when you’re by yourself (or not) unless, of course, it’s the pizza guy. God Bless!

Cool Picture

This isn’t really a blog – I just want to comment on the above picture. Morgan took it awhile back in Wellington and I think it’s so cool so I put it on my page. It also seems to go well with the “1955″ theme although I have no idea what year the car is. Morgan is a pretty good photographer – ok, that’s all.

Writer’s Block

As you have probably guessed from the title, I am having a case of writer’s block. I have all these ideas swimming around in my head but don’t know what to do with them.

I was going to write about graduation and even started writing but it was SO boring (not graduation, my writing) that I scratched that idea. FYI – graduation was great – a few tears and ok, it WAS boring in parts and I caused myself quite a few extra tears when I wiped my eyes, forgetting that I had rubbed Capsaicin (made of peppers) on my back earlier in the day due to a killer backache. I must not have washed my hands as thoroughly as I thought because I very suddenly forgot about my weepiness due to graduation and was now weeping in pain – mascara everywhere. It was not a pretty sight and this was RIGHT after we walked in!

Then I thought about writing about the infestation of silverfish we have experienced. Silverfish love wood shingles and I’m pretty sure they are procreating at a rapid rate in our attic. But that’s just gross and really, what can I say? Along with wood shingles they love piles of clothes and my girls have piles of clothes so until we get rid of the clothing piles, we will be sharing our home with the slithery little creepy crawly, disgusting, ugly,  prehistoric looking creatures. Thank goodness they don’t get into food or cabinets or I would be moving out. Oh and the exterminators can’t GUARANTEE they can get rid of silverfish. Time for a new exterminator??

Here are some of my other ideas: Laziness, diets, basement cleaning, summer projects, exercise (again), my job (which the Olathe school district has jacked up), my kids (which I can’t write about because they would be either mad or embarrassed), swimming suits (yuck), that saggy skin under your neck when you get old, vacations, and I don’t remember what else.

Speaking of that saggy skin, I hate it more than anything (even more than saggy arms). I have been looking for a quick fix because I’m too cheap for surgery and well, that would just be vain, right? I bought this stuff called Double Chin Firming Facial Contouring Serum (hey it was on sale). And if the name wasn’t bad enough, here are the directions: For best results, apply a thin layer of DermaSilk Double Chin Facial Firming Serum to clean, dry skin on the soft, SAGGING SKIN under your jaw, neck and lower facial line. I love being 54.

Have a great summer and if I think of anything profound (or not) to share – I’ll be back. God Bless!

PS – I am most offended by the term double chin – it’s sagging neck skin and yes, there is a huge difference! Really, I’m not vain…

For the Moms in my life

To the moms in my life: First, my Grandmothers because that’s where my parents learned to parent!  My Grandma Howell was a devout Christian and raised my dad that way and that made me who I am. To my Grandma Butler, she was very family oriented and raised my mom that way and taught her the meaning of family (and how to bake!!!) and that made me who I am. Then to my own mom, she insisted that I go to church, taught me the meaning of love, family, honesty (should we be lucky enough to find a dime left at a pay phone, we weren’t allowed to take it because “someone might come back for it”), responsibility (I hated this lesson because it usually just meant cleaning or babysitting). She taught me compassion – if I complained of someone being mean or unkind my mom would say “now you never know what that person has gone through today to make them behave that way, maybe their (son, daughter, mother, father) just died” this drove me nuts but now I do the same thing! – this made me who I am. For my 4 sisters who are each one amazing in their own way with amazing kids - they have all made me who I am. For my brother’s wife, Chris, because she has two of the most beautiful (on the inside and the outside) and kind daughters and kids don’t just come like that, it takes a lot of work! For my beautiful nieces who are fairly new mothers but are so patient and sweet with their children, they have made me who I am. For my mother-in-law who raised her son to be a dedicated and loving father and husband, this made me who I am.  Mostly, this is for my daughter Rachel, she taught me the meaning of loving a child continually and unconditionally even though that child is not on this earth, of having the strength to go on, and of knowing that through faith in Christ and living right, she will see that child again someday.  Rachel is one of the strongest, most dedicated moms I know because she carries on every day with a pain I cannot imagine yet always with a smile on her face. I believe she does it for her son, so that maybe he can look down and see how hard she is working to someday get to him and that makes me the person that I am. I want to thank all of these moms (and many more too numerous to mention) for being or having been in my life and for making me the mom that I am – far from perfect,  but they have all instilled something in me that has taught me to be a better parent.  It’s never, ever too late to learn how to be a better mom, no matter how old your kids may be. Mom’s are awesome – they truly do hold the future in their hands. I pray that you all have a blessed and Happy Mother’s Day! Celebrate the gift of life, the gift of children. God bless you all!

Grandma Howell before children

 

Grandma Butler before children

My mom, Martha, before children

My daughter, Rachel, before children

sisters Carrie, Jodie, Gerrie, myself, and Jen, before children

My sister-in-law, Chris, before children

My nieces Kylie and Kelly, before children

My mother-in-law, Esther - not before children but the earliest one I could find.

Blessed?!? (Yes!)

I think I’m a wimp because sometimes life just overwhelms me. I have too many things to do and not enough time to do them. I know, cry me a river – everybody has to deal with this at one time or another and most function just fine. Like I said, I’m a wimp.  We have a daughter graduating this year. This is really nothing new, we’ve had 2 other daughters graduate but I think I’ve forgotten all that goes along with that. I’m late with getting pictures ordered, I’m late with getting announcements out. I have to get the display board together, the open house needs to be organized and invitations made and sent, the food and cake ordered, the house cleaned. Plus all the stuff that Morgan needs to do involving graduation and who will pester her to get stuff done if I don’t?? But hey, we have 2 weeks – LOTS of time! If I just didn’t have a job, this wouldn’t be such a problem but I do have a job. I work at a school and the irony is that at the end of the school year the things I have to do there slow to a crawl so I’m NOT busy at work but the things that I have to do at home are increasing so I AM busy at home thus when I’m at work I just sit and stress about all the things I have to do at home but when I get home I’m tired from the frenzy that I’ve worked myself into while at work. I have found that working yourself into a frenzy is exhausting! I know it seems that all my blogs are whiny. I need to try to get out of that mode but I just feel whiny. I’m tired, I think I have a sinus infection, I’ve screwed up my back somehow and it hurts all the time. On the upside though, school is out in 2 ½ weeks and then I’ll be relatively free for the summer. I’m so blessed because not many people have a job that they get the summer off. Speaking of summer, here’s what I want to do – I want to start exercising on a regular basis and I want to lose 10 pounds (I really want to lose 20 but who am I kidding). This means the “d” word and I like to eat what I want when I want so that will be a challenge. I am not a fan of exercising but they say exercising releases endorphins that make you feel better – like a natural high or something. I could go for a natural high since most other highs are illegal.  I want to feel better, more energized. I’ll give it a try for a couple of days and see what happens. In the meantime I think I’d better go get those pictures ordered, oh and a menu, and the announcements need to be addressed…

 

PS – I really am thankful that my problems are not problems at all, just the everyday blessings of living! God bless!

THAT was highly stressful

 

 

Well, today was the big day. I really don’t know where to begin so I’ll just start where the day begins to get stressful. I think it started when I burned Morgan’s prom dress. No kidding, I wanted to iron it to get a few of the wrinkles out and everything was going along nicely but the iron must have surged or something because the fabric suddenly disintegrated right before my very eyes – in a flash! I panicked a little, not sure what to do. Go buy a new dress? Tell her, don’t tell her? I assessed the damage and it looked bad but it was at the very bottom of the dress kind of in a fold so I opted to keep my mouth shut and hope she didn’t notice, she would have freaked out. Things sort of went downhill from there. Her sister was supposed to be home to help her fix her hair and due to circumstances beyond her control, wasn’t able to get here. Here’s the real problem though, Morgan should have started getting ready at about 2:00 instead of 4:00. She had people coming for pictures at 5:30 and one and a half hours to get herself “prom-ready” was not nearly enough time. It was about here that she decided to give herself a French manicure. Those of you that know Morgan can imagine that this was a task that has “disaster” written all over it. But, fortunately, it went fairly smoothly and she only had to start over about 5 times, didn’t spill the nail polish once, and her nails ended up looking pretty good.

The hair however, was another story all together. In her mind, I was hardly capable of doing what she needed to have done. There were some deep sighs, a little bit of voice raising, some minor verbal indiscretions, lots of hair spray flying (only a couple of times in her eyes and I swear it was an accident), many starts and stops, and a few things thrown. But thanks to her friend Jess schooling me in the proper curling iron technique, and YouTube for schooling me in the correct way to make a hair bump, her hair ended up looking adorable, at least for a bit. (The minute she stepped outside, the humidity undid most of my curling iron work). During the hair event, the first of the roughly 20 prom goers arrived about 30 minutes early. It was a little uncomfortable because they weren’t a couple any of us knew very well. I didn’t have time to play hostess so I just left them alone and went on about my business, yelling and all. I’m sure they thought we were nuts and I think it was their first date – awkward.

The next little fiasco was when the blessed eye-liner pencil broke. This almost caused a melt-down but fortunately she has a wonderful father who happened to be out at the time so she called him with an exact description of the eye pencil. I had a visual of this “manly man” hunting and searching through the tons of make-up at the grocery store and thinking there was no way he was going to find it and if he did it could possibly take the rest of the night. Not because he’s not capable but finding a specific type of anything in the make-up aisle is a challenge for the most seasoned make-up shoppers. But find it he did. Dad saved the day - lucky for him he didn’t have to do her hair. 

The rest of the prom-goers arrived in spurts, along with their parents to take pictures. I think we must have had close to 40 people here for that. It was packed. We went out to the porch and took lots of pictures. It was windy and the skies were threatening but we got the pictures in and luckily Rach got here just in time to see her sis before they all headed out. Morgan gave hugs all around and being the sweet daughter she is, I got double hugs and a “thanks for helping me Mom, I love you.” Looking at this beautiful (on the inside and the outside) daughter, my heart was full. Suddenly the stress of the day melted away and I was grateful to God that I was one that He had blessed to be Morgan’s mom.   Now, if I’m very lucky, she won’t notice that her dress has that one little melted square at the bottom. God Bless!

Prom 1973 vs. Prom 2009

 

 

Things have changed dramatically since I went to prom and I know what you’re thinking, the dark ages but seriously. Back in the day, you got a dress and MAYBE a pair of shoes, boutonniere for your boyfriend and yea that was about it. We ate dinner at the prom and I think the mom’s made the food. Did we have a limo? NO, your boyfriend picked you up in his 60 something Chevy SS (I think) or 57 Chevy or whatever loud, fast car he happened to be driving at the time (really better than a limo if you ask me). For that matter, since prom was only 1 or 2 blocks away, we could have walked (it was a very small town). The gym was decorated by the Junior Class with crepe paper and balloons and I can’t remember if we had a dj (Joe Bob from the bait shop) or a live band (from the big city of Newton). And there was none of this “after prom” stuff. After prom was whatever you could find to do and we’ll leave it at that.

 

Fast forward to 2009 – you get a dress, you get shoes, you get your hair done, you get your nails done, some get their make-up done and, on and on. In the 21st century, they have professional prom organizers and they decorate like it’s the Oscars or something. Now we have a limo request to go to the Legends in KCMO for a dinner that I’m sure will cost more than all of MY prom dresses combined. Money is no object! Things are bigger, better, more glamorous, more peer pressure, more, more, more.  And after prom is quite an affair. Games, food, drinks (alcohol not provided at after prom, thank you) until the wee small hours. These things are the norm now and have been for quite some time. It almost feels like wedding planning on some level. I think it’s great for them and I know it’s a very exciting time in their lives and everyone is eagerly awaiting Saturday. The guys will feel miserable in their tuxes (that hasn’t changed, guys have never liked to wear tuxes) and the girls will feel like princesses for a night. But let me tell you back in 1973 in my relatively inexpensive blue dress with my boyfriend bringing me a corsage and picking me up in his loud car, I felt like a princess too. It was a very sweet and special time then just as it is today. The important things haven’t changed, just the trappings. Happy Prom class of 2009!

 

 

 

A DAY IN THE LIFE

6:30 a.m. rise and shine

6:35 a.m. gently warn sleeping beauty to start the process of thinking about possibly waking up and getting ready for school

6:36 a.m. get in the shower

6:45 a.m. not so gently tap sleeping daughter to start waking up

6:50 a.m. find something to wear – anything will do

6:55 a.m. shove daughter and with slightly raised voice, tell her to get out of bed

6:56 a.m. stomp down the stairs but for what? Oh I can’t remember.

7:03 a.m. stomp back up the stairs and scream at the beast to get the heck out of bed before I take drastic measures

7:05 a.m. run fingers through hair (my own)

7:10 – 7:20 a.m. have something for breakfast, gather things together, check the paper, slap on the makeup (if there is time), scream up the stairs that it’s time to go NOW and listen for “I KNOW!”

7:25 a.m. Leave the house for the 11 mile drive to school. By this time we are bff’s because as much screaming as there is in the morning, we get over it right away and usually have a lovely drive to school and some of our best mother daughter bonding moments take place during this time. However our bonding moments are sometimes interrupted by me with comments like “sheesh, doesn’t this guy know how to get through a green light?” or “why do you people not know how to drive the speed limit?” or “Oh no, I’m not driving here, please go ahead, PULL RIGHT OUT IN FRONT OF ME!”

8:00 Drop the girl off and drive the 4 miles to my first Jr. High – Santa Fe Trail.

11:00 a.m. Leave school; grab some fast food and head to pick up daughter from her 1st school.

11:30 a.m. Grab M and take her the 11 miles BACK home to pick up her car so she can get to her 2nd school of the day. (Confusing, I know)

12:00 noon arrive at 2nd Jr. High, Chisholm Trail (I work at 2 different schools)

3:00 Leave school and head home

3:10 If time and weather permit, head out to the porch swing with a good book for some me time – reading, relaxing, etc. (I’m very grateful for this time and try not to take it for granted – it’s a wonderful time of day)

4:00 In to do some picking up. I love this part, the dishes, the clothes, the laundry – because really when I was a little girl back in Wichita, Kansas, I always hoped and dreamed I’d grow up and become someone’s maid (but in all fairness, I’m not a very good maid).

5:00 Maybe fix dinner, maybe order dinner, maybe skip dinner altogether (see, not a very good maid at all).

6:00 Clean up dinner

6:30 Whatever

That’s all, I quit, this was way harder than I thought it would be.

Wii (are not so) Fit

 

 

WARNING, extreme vent to follow

 

I have a dear friend who has a Wii fit. Morg, (I’ve given up on the anonymity) daughter no. 3, has played often and loves it. I want and need to be fit so I thought it would be cool to get a Wii Fit and make getting into shape a game. Since our kids obviously question the legitimacy of E. Bunny we went with the non-traditional Easter present and got the Wii Fit. Morgan loved it and I thought Rach might too. She was appreciative but her comment was “I’m not letting a game trick me into getting fit” – ever the cynic.  I don’t think she’s set foot on it.  I was excited because if you can make it a game, I can do it. I love video games. Here’s the deal though, Rach was RIGHT! They trick you into thinking it’s a game but it is work!  Yoga, you think it’s going to be a piece of cake but no, it’s not. The simple act of leaning to the left and to the right and  S T R E T C H I N G and holding it for what seems like an eternity is very painful (and dangerous, I think). Another yoga stretch they have you do, stand on one leg and bring the other leg up, resting it on the inside of your thigh (it’s a stork-like pose) and gently and every so slowly, breathing in and breathing out all the while feeling peaceful and serene, right. I thought I was going to fall and break a hip and I know I looked ridiculous, teetering to the point of danger. There is no way. Then we further the humiliation by proceeding to the “game” portion. Hmm, seems simple enough, head the virtual soccer ball with your Mii self, it helps those of us with poor balance.  I suppose if you could actually make contact with the virtual soccer ball it would help your balance but no, I was only able to achieve about 30% on that “game”. They have a little dance number you do and really, I thought even I can do this. I HAVE RYTHM darn it, I could disco with the best of them! But I must have looked like an 80 year old man trying to do those little steps with the stupid little chipmunk sounding Miis. I don’t know, I guess I need to keep at it maybe it will make all the difference in my life. I’ve missed several days now and when I go turn on the Wii Fit, I’m going to be scolded and reprimanded BY A GAME for having been away for so long. It will say, in a very calm and serene voice something like “No time to exercise? Studies show that those who exercise at least 5 times a week live much longer, healthier, and rewarding lives”  Yea, well you little Miis can stick it where the sun don’t shine. 

 

 

 

My sister and the brown furry spider

Today I just have to share the funniest text conversation I’ve ever had. My sister won’t think it’s funny because she was the victim. But really you will see that I couldn’t keep this gem to myself. It would have just been selfish of me.

SIS: I just almost swallowed a spider…alive. I am going to throw up!

ME: What happened?!?

SIS: I spit it out. It was in my glass. It crawled in there while it was sitting in the window in the office. sick.

ME: That is disgusting!

SIS: Yea, well, try having it in your mouth!

ME: OH YUCK, it makes ME want to vomit!

SIS: I want to chop my own head off!

SIS: I just brushed my tongue until it almost bled.

ME: How big was the spider?

SIS: Too big to be in my mouth!

ME: I know it’s not funny but I can’t quit laughing.

SIS: I spit it right back in my glass. I knew it was a spider. I felt its legs in my mouth.

ME: OHMYGOSHTHATISTHEGROSSESTSICKESTTHINGI’VEEVERHEARD!

SIS: I dumped my soda in the sink and it was crawling around in the sink. My husband had to kill him, I was about to vomit. I was jumping up and down…dying!

I hope she doesn’t kill me for sharing this story. Hopefully she’ll consider it a public service announcement. Always check your glass before taking a drink and if you find that you have a spider or other creature in your mouth, don’t swallow.